Square-Enix, whose game localizations have improved in recent years by Bangaa leaps and Chocobo bounds, need somone to localize their press conference humor, immediately. At the recent Tokyo Playstation Premiere press conference, the company announced that Final Fantasy XIII is 13, or XIII percent done. I'm not even XXVI percent amused. Companion game Final Fantasy Versus XIII, well, thats only 1.3 percent done. Cruel and unusual punishment, that; akin to dangling bags of heroin above the outstretched arms of the shambling lines at a methadone clinic. What a cruel drug lord Square has become: they only give you a hit of smack once every six years (which, it must be said, lasts for forty magical hours) and tease you good and hard in the interim. [Shakes fist and sobs towards the heavens]
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