Oops! I Was Wrong...It Was Earth All Along!

Ian Parker's fantastic piece in this week's New Yorker really should have been published on Horny Horny Hippos first, but he forgot to ask. Anyways, turns out bonobo monkeys, everyone's favorite peaceful primate sex addicts, are actually vicious, finger-eating Fem-Nazis who leave their midget antelope prey alive as they eat their intestines. That's a giant middle finger to people who want their 'closest to human' animals either warlike or horny. All that time spent in a floppy ape imitation of the missionary position? They're bored too, just plotting horrible, digit-removing revenge.